in bed with father i think of the crickets outside and if their noise may cover what happens when i sleep inside him TARANTULA in bed with father i think of the crickets outside and if their noise may cover what happens when i sleep inside the messy chest grip of his arm like sisal twine and his breath scratching my forehead he kisses me TARANTULA in bed with father i think of the crickets outside and if their noise may cover what happens when i sleep inside his messy chest arm like sisal twine and his breath scratching my forehead he kisses me in the aurora glow of the television rerunning car and diet infomercials those are two things he likes most mechanics and controlling what i swallow the other night i overheard mother say that his mother had to stop selling the cocaine she kept it in her tea biscuit tin TARANTULA in bed with father i think of the crickets outside and if their noise may cover what happens when i sleep inside his messy chest and his breath and the glow of diets and i heard mother say that he should wipe his nose before kissing me and there is red dye on his hands from his mother’s hair and there is spit everywhere TARANTULA in bed with father i think of going outside and being a titov of crickets with a noise just so that my thorax shakes off the spit easily and i am finally without TARANTULA in bed with father combing and curling my hair with his eyes closed and the weight of him pressing and the weight of the aurora glow and the clicking noise outside as i stare at the wall and think of how i am his daughter and if the exoskeleton of it can fall away TARANTULA