1] beauty
i always let The [other] Girls drag me around. at lunch Annika
drags me to meet her bff Madi, queen of The Girls.
chestnut waves and flitting hepburn eyes. i keep
staring too long at her. i keep
my chapped hands in my pockets
how cool and normal guys like myself do.
Madi’s smirk glints, a sunlit knife. “Boy—
where do you buy your blush?”
The Girls titter. i blush pinker. an honest trickster spirit
possesses me. i flip my hair. “i’m a natural beauty.”
The Girls laugh until their lungs are empty.
they laugh so hard they adopt me.
i love them so much. i am so happy i finally have friends.

2] label
i’m one of The Girls, but i’m not
anything in particular. i’m not
the catty gayboys
The Girls wish were straight. i’m not the skater badboys
who make out with The Girls
behind the bungalows,
call me faggot on facebook.
“you’re our straight gaybestfriend,” The Girls decide.

i love them so much. i am so happy i finally have friends.

3] worth
Madi tells me i have a nicely defined jawline.
i accept this compliment
into my self. there is such solace in being
nicely defined. The Girls make me
cut my hair short. then they tell me to grow it out again.
My Dad offers to take me to a dermatologist
to bleach my rosy cheeks.
when the dean goes slut-hunting
to bust girls in short skirts,
The Girls always hide behind me.
i am such a good hiding place.
i love them so much. i am so happy i finally have friends.

4] sleepover
i can’t follow the plot. all The [other] Girls
have already seen it. their squeals pierce me.
in the castle, a white-faced man strutting in fishnets.
i’m meant to feel something about him. he chops up a pink-faced man
and makes him into a stew. i keep startling awake
in our mess of floor blankets. nobody makes out. i had thought maybe
we’d make out.
but that’s okay. i love them so much. i am so happy i finally have friends.

5] mannequin

Madi’s 14 tonight. we’re sitting on her bedroom floor,
sugardrunk on pixie stix. tongues burning. “you always pick truth,”
Madi pouts. so i guess now we’re just playing dare.
i’m praying she’ll dare me to make out with Annika. or herself.
i do have a nice jawline.
Madi stares at me for several forevers.
Madi’s smirk glints, a moonlit knife.
“i have an idea.” out of her closet she pulls
a frilly pink dress i’ve never seen her wear. The
Girls
all scream as she dangles it in front of me. “I
dare you
to put this on.” i get stuck wriggling my puffy
pink arms
through the puffy pink sleeves.
The Girls’ hands are all over me. repositioning
me.
The Girls’ laughter is all over me. repositioning
me. the pink dress
is all over me, squeezing into my sides,
billowing around the knees
of my lucky brand jeans. cackling The Girls
drag me
into Madi’s bathroom. they stuff wads of toilet
paper
into the cups of the pink dress. in the mirror my
face
burns pinker than the pink dress. my tits are
sullen lumps. i am not

like The [other] Girls. not like them at all. but i
feel something
fall away. i almost feel
pretty. The Girls take me on parade. drag me
around. i am
a giant balloon animal. i am a doll. drag me
out into the living room. My Dad
sits stone-faced with Madi’s dad and many
moms.
i am blushing brighter than any rouge.
My Dad always has something to say.
My Dad says nothing
as the moms and their Girls
cackle at my unnatural beauty,
says nothing as The Girls drag me back
to Madi’s room to undress me. My Dad says
nothing,
maybe because
he loves me
so much
and he is so happy
i finally
have
friends.